I Want a Funeral Pyre

BuddyO | Posted on August 20th, 2008 in Christianity, Church, Creation.

In the comments of my last post, Chris and I began talking about the under-utilization (or waste) of church property. This reminded me of a conversation I was recently having with Kathy where I concluded that when I died, I wanted a simple funeral pyre… like the Vikings had.

We were working in the food pantry garden which is in the rear property of an old Methodist church in our community, directly adjacent to the church’s cemetery. I looked at the modest 25′ x 25′ garden that was allocated by the church and compared it with the vast cemetery and open space (probably reserved for future burials) and thought “what a waste”.

Now it’s great that they have even allocated the small space we have, I’m certainly grateful for that, but the fresh produce that is harvested is gone within the first couple of hours the pantry is open. Many (most) of the recipients would love to get some of that harvest (and probably nutritionally need it) but alas, its gone by the time their number is called. Wouldn’t it be great to quadruple the garden so that there’d be enough fresh produce for all of the recipients?

Our old church owned 7 acres. The church building itself was small, there was a modest parking lot, but the majority of the land sat unused. Congregational giving was used to maintain the property, cut grass plant flowers etc. Was that the best use?

Burials are another thing… What’s the point? We were at the funeral of a family member recently. Saw this huge cement vault in the ground where the heavy duty casket was lowered into… man, it’s going to last for a long long time… and we’re worried about Styrofoam in landfills….? I don’t know man…. seems like the whole cemetery thing isn’t really being a good steward of God’s Creation.

Me?… pile up some logs, throw me on top, toss a match, finito. If you really want to get fancy build the pyre on a raft and float it out on a lake or something… I’d even go for taking my body down to some third world country where there’s no laws about disposing of bodies and throw me out in a field for scavengers to clean up… or mushrooms to grow on or something….

Whatever it is… no redisual footprint.

 

21 replies

  1. Christian BeyerNo Gravatar says:

    Added on August 20th, 2008 at 10:45 pm

    AMEN! No offense, undertakers and other various funeral industry employees but WHAT A RACKET!. It’s absolutely nuts. Some folks can’t cough up the cash for decent care for their dying parents and then spend over 10 grand on a funeral. Insanity.

    The Jews have it right - in the ground within 24 hours. And the primitive folk, like your Vikings, have got even a better handle on it.

    Problem is, if the churches didn’t have the graves they would probably sell the property off to some real estate developer. At least most cemeteries have trees and flowers.

    Anyway, with the price of food going up the way it is how about revisiting the Soylent Green idea? If we can’t get these gardens up and running.

  2. KathyONo Gravatar says:

    Added on August 22nd, 2008 at 7:08 am

    Hey you forgot to mention how we talked about having smores over your burning pyre…:)

  3. BuddyONo Gravatar (blog author) says:

    Added on August 22nd, 2008 at 9:02 am

    Right… s’mores, the kids love those… they should definitely wait till the flesh is good an charred, otherwise it might give the marshmallows a funky taste.

    I understand the need for a grave sight as a catharsis for the living. There has to be a better way. Unfortunately here in the US, you don’t get a lot of choices. All choices available are a ton of money… Is there a Funeral Directors Lobby in DC or something?

    When Kathy and I were looking at houses 10 years ago, we looked at a place that was built on an old cemetery. The walkway in the front of the house was made of old headstones… pretty creepy.

  4. BuddyONo Gravatar (blog author) says:

    Added on August 22nd, 2008 at 9:04 am

    Hey Kaaarl…. I know your Oooouut there…. Feel free to chime in.

  5. Christian BeyerNo Gravatar says:

    Added on August 22nd, 2008 at 12:56 pm

    One of the best gigs I ever hosed was when this group of people I’d never bet booked a party at the restaurant. It was for about 40 people and they asked for the works - our best menu - best wine - best drinks. They had a blast, a real fun group.

    Turns out it was a wake. Some lady who lived in the neighborhood passed away a year ago. In her will she stipulated that her body be donated to the medical school. Apparently they use the body for a year and then cremate it.

    She asked that nothing be done in the way of a memorial or funeral but on the day that the medical school cremated her body her friends were to throw themselves a big party funded by the money she would’ve spent on the funeral and cemetery plot. What a cool idea. They still had a bunch of money left over from the party which they gave to a local charity in her name.

    Christian Beyers last blog post..Mothers Against Drunk Driving are Madd at Jesus

  6. Christian BeyerNo Gravatar says:

    Added on August 22nd, 2008 at 12:58 pm

    Hosted - NOT hosed. I did some of that as well.

    Christian Beyers last blog post..Mothers Against Drunk Driving are Madd at Jesus

  7. KathyONo Gravatar says:

    Added on August 22nd, 2008 at 1:20 pm

    I have what Buddy would probably say is an eerie and somewhat scary fascination with forensics and pretty much death in general. I’ve been reading about the “Body Farm” down in Tennessee. It is a large “farm” that has bodies decomposing in every way and in every set of circumstances that you can imagine. It is strictly for knowledge sake and much has been learned and used in criminal cases to erradicate the “perfect crime”. That is where I want my body to go… Not to the MS Society, I don’t like what they are doing with their donations…

  8. BuddyONo Gravatar (blog author) says:

    Added on August 22nd, 2008 at 1:30 pm

    That does sound pretty cool. I just picture those guys having a pretty sick sense of humor (I would think they’d have to). I’d be afraid they’d pull a Weekend At Bernie’s on me…

  9. Christian BeyerNo Gravatar says:

    Added on August 22nd, 2008 at 1:46 pm

    Nah, they were quite ‘normal’ - just celebrating life in general and one in particular.

    Kathy, I almost picked up a mystery book written by some guy who ‘founded’ the Body Farm - he has a whole series out. Is that the same guy you’re reading?

  10. KathyONo Gravatar says:

    Added on August 23rd, 2008 at 4:02 pm

    Yep, it’s the same guy. Very interesting books, if you like that kind of stuff!

  11. QueenMotherNo Gravatar says:

    Added on August 24th, 2008 at 1:34 pm

    Well Buddy, I really don’t want to conjure up the sight of your body laying in an open, third-world field being torn apart by scavangers. Funerals (inground burials) and all the foo-foo that goes with them are for the psychological health of the remaining living…..and, you are correct, they are way too expensive and waste good ariable land. Personally, I want to be cremated and my ashes made into a diamond by a high pressure process now available. Or, maybe put in a concrete rock and added to one of the artificial reefs being built as fish sanctuaries in ocean depths. I’m not too fond of the Soylent Green solution…..too creepy. Chris, I’ll bet your celebrators were Irish….they throw the best wakes I have ever attended.

  12. Christian BeyerNo Gravatar says:

    Added on August 24th, 2008 at 2:45 pm

    I don’t think so - they didn’t break anything.

    Christian Beyers last blog post..God’s Love is Like a Punch in the Gut?

  13. BuddyONo Gravatar (blog author) says:

    Added on August 25th, 2008 at 8:54 am

    I really don’t want to conjure up the sight of your body laying in an open, third-world field being torn apart by scavangers

    Man, I think that would be cool… ‘come on, you saw the ‘Lion King’… I hear Elton John now It’s the ci–rcle of life…

    I like the idea of being returned to the earth… broken back down to the base elements.

  14. Christian BeyerNo Gravatar says:

    Added on August 25th, 2008 at 11:03 am

    You remind me of a friendly argument I’ve had off and on over the years with Bev.

    (Spoiler Alert!) At the end of the movie “Legends of the Fall” the hero, knife in hand, is killed by a grizzly bear and it is referred to a ‘good death’. Considering that the man was an adventurer at heart and would have hated a slow, lingering, bed ridden death, I agreed. Bev didn’t see it my way.

    I don’t know what this has to do with anything, I just thought I’d bring it up.

    Christian Beyers last blog post..God’s Love is Like a Punch in the Gut?

  15. QueenMotherNo Gravatar says:

    Added on August 25th, 2008 at 2:15 pm

    Well, ok. Regarding the circle of life, I think being with the fishes qualifies for that…..and, is a lot less messy. Good subject matter in this blog. Waisting good resources just to let corpses slow-rot is not being a good steward to the God-given land and human bodies….particularly with all the preservatives and wooden boxes/vaults. Well, I guess I’m just reiterating the original thoughts in the blog, sorry. FYI, Buddy: the trustees of the “old church” with 7 acres did plant a pumpkin garden last summer. I’m not sure what they did this year.

  16. BobNo Gravatar says:

    Added on September 2nd, 2008 at 11:51 pm

    Regarding the land around our church…I kind of like to look at the open space…is that wrong of me? Should I feel guilty for not plowing and seeding it instead? Concerning burial sites, I hear what you’re saying, but they had them in old and new testament time periods…in fact, I believe Jesus was laid in a tomb…you’re statring to scare me :-)

  17. BuddyONo Gravatar (blog author) says:

    Added on September 3rd, 2008 at 11:54 am

    One should never feel guilty…

    For me it’s more about tithing and the use of resources. If one views their offering as say a health club membership then sure, they expect amenities in return. Nice facilities, grounds keeping, air conditioning, nice playground for their kids, child care, etc. However, if those offerings are to go to doing the work of the Kingdom, none of that matters. It’s a different way of looking at the resources at our disposal.

    Kathy often quotes: “If your church’s doors were to close today, would the community miss you?” … that’s a tough one to swallow. Not “would your members miss you” but does your church make enough of an impact in its community to be missed.

    Jesus knew he’d only need the tomb for a few days… ;)

  18. Christian BeyerNo Gravatar says:

    Added on September 3rd, 2008 at 4:39 pm

    I like that quote. But I wonder sometimes if it can be read differently. It’s possible that a church is doing good works in the community and the community doesn’t even know it. By this I mean that the church members are out and about their jobs and their lives doing the work of Christ but not always in concert with others.

    Almost any church can point to the things they do together as they attempt to impact the community for the sake of God. Visiting nursing homes, food drives and pantries, soup kitchens etc etc. Some churches are real good at doing these things and advertising the fact. And that’s great. But I think it’s more important to encourage people to be disciples when they are ‘out in the world’ and apart from the faith community. Too many people put in their time doing good works with the church and then take a powder on the rest of their lives. Kind of like giving at the office.

    I guess what I’m saying is that we should be doing both.

    Christian Beyers last blog post..Useless Idiots

  19. Christian BeyerNo Gravatar says:

    Added on September 10th, 2008 at 9:54 am

    I’ve got nothing to say. Just wanted to take advantage of the commentluv thing.

    Thanks

    Christian Beyers last blog post..My Son Ian Joins the Marines

  20. QueenMotherNo Gravatar says:

    Added on September 10th, 2008 at 5:03 pm

    Well, Chris, you are a better man than me (oops, I mean better “person”). I could not have held up as well as you, while your son took the Marine oath. Wow…..how’s Bev? I cried when my son went away to kindergarten not to mention college (he doesn’t know that, its a secret). Pride in your son is great and that must have been the hardest day of your life. I cried the whole time I read your post “My Son Ian Joins the Marines”. Anyway, I feel proud just knowing him and proud of his bravery.

  21. BillGNo Gravatar says:

    Added on September 28th, 2008 at 10:59 pm

    Buddy,

    Let’s see, you did say you wanted a funeral pyre. Sort of a Viking send off. That has a certain je ne sai quoi to it. I’m not sure it would be eco-friendly. After all they had a tendency to burn the whole boat for a chieftain like you. Of course, if we modernize it a bit and do it in a crematorium–especially if we could harness the heat to produse energy–then we could go out doing something positive.

    I know that some years ago when I read Jessica Mitford’s book THE AMERICAN WAY OF DEATH, I was persuaded that funeral directors were vultures preying upon people at a very vulnerable time. Working with a number of funeral directors over the years, I came to the conclusion that, while some were no doubt vultures, most of the ones that I encountered were performing a real service to people who were in real need of assistance–handling an immense number of details, for instance. We do learn from expereience, you see.

    Back to the pyre. When my mother died suddenly 44 years ago, she just didn’t come home! My father, who had been with her when she had her fatal heart attack, had had her cremated and her ashes scattered. A memorial service was held a week later at her home church. When my father died 30 years later, he had requested the same treatment for himself. My brother was requested to scatter his ashes on the flower garden. It does seem appropriate. Maybe you are on to something here.

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