Soviet… uh… I mean American Community Survey

BuddyO | Posted on June 26th, 2008 in Politics.

Privacy RightsI don’t know what country I live in anymore… I received, a few months ago, the “American Community Survey” courtesy of our wonderful US Census Bureau. I began to obediently fill in the questions but as I did I really started to fume. “What in the heck is this crap?” I thought to myself. (well not really to myself, it was actually pretty loud and more of a rant that lasted for a week or two…) We promptly threw it in the trash can. If you are not familiar with the ’survey’ look here. It’s basically a 28 page invasion of privacy. It asks all sorts of questions that a) the US Government already has the answers to through my tax returns etc but are too lazy to look up themselves or b) are none of their darned business. It’s kind of like a deep cavity search through the mail.

Oh, one more thing. It is mandatory, and the penalty for refusing to answer all of the questions can be up to $5,000. So really it’s not a survey so much as an interrogation. I did a bit of research and found that they have never actually imposed any penalty on any one who has refused to answer… yet.

Well a couple of weeks after we threw out the first one they kindly sent me another one just in case I ‘lost’ it. In the past few weeks they’ve resorted to the telephone. They’ve been calling and leaving several messages a day on my answering machine wanting to conduct the survey over the phone. I’m anticipating them showing up at my house like a Jehovah Witness soon.

Here are some of the highlights (borrowed from another blog). Keep in mind that all these questions are mandatory:

  • How much do you make?
  • Are you using food stamps?
  • Do you bathe yourself, or does someone have to help you?
  • Are you having sex with any of the people in your house?
  • If so, are you two married, or are you living in sin?
  • Did you get her pregnant this year?
  • Is she also a grandmother?
  • Did she graduate from high school, or is she still in elementary school?
  • Is she “ethnic”?
  • Is she an illegal alien?
  • How’s her English?
  • Is she blind?
  • Is she a shut-in?
  • How many wars has she fought in?
  • Where does she work?
  • Does your she take a ferryboat to work?
  • How hard does she work?
  • Is the government giving her money?

They really ask this stuff. (Ok not in those exact words, but the intent is the same)

We should all be outraged at this invasion of privacy. Article I of the US Constitution does call for a head counting for the purpose of congressional redistricting, but the founding fathers never intended this nonsense.
Here a couple of links to some other commentaries:
https://www.checkpointusa.org/Census/Census.htm
http://txfx.net/2008/01/07/the-american-community-survey/
http://www.rutherford.org/articles_db/commentary.asp?record_id=299
http://www.house.gov/paul/tst/tst2004/tst071204.htm

 

15 replies

  1. ChristianNo Gravatar says:

    Added on June 26th, 2008 at 8:33 pm

    OK, I’ve got an idea. Answer the survey but give a false answer for each question. Maybe for the ones that they already know the answer for (income,address etc) Like this

    # How much do you make?
    A. Not quite enough.
    # Are you using food stamps?
    A. Only when I mail food.
    # Do you bathe yourself, or does someone have to help you?
    A. I get help but she’s going to start charging more soon.
    # Are you having sex with any of the people in your house?
    A.Usually in the house, sometimes outside, if its dark enough.
    # If so, are you two married, or are you living in sin?
    A. What does the government know about sin? Ever heard of Tom Jefferson?
    # Did you get her pregnant this year?
    A. I would have but they were all sold out.
    # Is she also a grandmother?
    A. Yes, actually. She’s mine.
    # Did she graduate from high school, or is she still in elementary school?
    A. She was expelled for living in sin.
    # Is she “ethnic”?
    A. Heck no. She keeps herself very clean.
    # Is she an illegal alien?
    A. C’mon. You don’t believe in aliens do you?
    # How’s her English?
    A. Better than her math but not as good as her history.
    # Is she blind?
    A. Of course! That explains a lot of things!
    # Is she a shut-in?
    A. Look, she kept losing the keys. We never left her too long and we always leave a window cracked.
    # How many wars has she fought in?
    A. Depends; do Korea, Vietnam and Iraq count? Or are they conflicts? Police actions?
    # Where does she work?
    A. Usually in the attic. Saves time if we just send the license plates up to her.
    # Does your she take a ferryboat to work?
    A. Once she took the ferry across the river but he didn’t want to go and he through a hissy fit and slapped her. So no,not anymore.
    # How hard does she work?
    A. Not too good anymore. I wonder if it’s that blind thing you suggested.
    # Is the government giving her money?
    A. Uh, you tell me. Ain’t you the government? Not too good with paperwork, are ya?

    Christians last blog post..Many Thanks For a Fallen Creation

  2. BuddyONo Gravatar (blog author) says:

    Added on June 26th, 2008 at 8:36 pm

    Thanks dude, that made me laugh out loud…

  3. JohnNo Gravatar says:

    Added on June 27th, 2008 at 2:03 pm

    “Do you bathe yourself, or does someone have to help you?”

    No way they didn’t ask this. Oh wait, I looked, they did. I feel kind of bad I didn’t get one of these forms. Do you think maybe they don’t like me? Or maybe Big Brother doesn’t want to know about my life?

  4. BuddyONo Gravatar (blog author) says:

    Added on June 27th, 2008 at 2:19 pm

    Could be they just targeted me because they know I’ll be annoyed.

  5. ChristianNo Gravatar says:

    Added on June 27th, 2008 at 7:13 pm

    Of they have been getting complaints at the Federal Department of Homeland Hygiene Security Department. Sorry, but I thought it was my civic duty.

    Christians last blog post..Many Thanks For a Fallen Creation

  6. ChristianNo Gravatar says:

    Added on June 27th, 2008 at 7:13 pm

    OR not of. Dangit.

  7. BuddyONo Gravatar (blog author) says:

    Added on July 9th, 2008 at 7:28 am

    OK, so I’ve started getting house visits now… 2 times so far, I haven’t been home… I can’t wait to meet them!

  8. ChristianNo Gravatar says:

    Added on July 9th, 2008 at 11:42 am

    The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government.”

    —Thomas Jefferson.

    Wanna borrow one of mine?

    Christians last blog post..God Hates You

  9. BuddyONo Gravatar (blog author) says:

    Added on July 9th, 2008 at 12:26 pm

    I may let my vicious pit bull answer the door.

  10. ChristianNo Gravatar says:

    Added on July 9th, 2008 at 1:54 pm

    I heard about your ‘vicious’ dog. Dot says she thinks you’ll have a problem if you are thinking of him as a watch dog. She says he’s too sweet and nice.

    Christians last blog post..God Hates You

  11. BuddyONo Gravatar (blog author) says:

    Added on July 9th, 2008 at 2:11 pm

    Shhhhh…..

  12. BuddyONo Gravatar (blog author) says:

    Added on July 10th, 2008 at 11:56 am

    UPDATE:
    Well, this nice older lady cornered me at the house last night. She kind of reminded me of George’s mother on Seinfeld. She wanted to do a verbal completion of the survey right then and there. Of course I refused. After a long deliberation she gave me the number of a manager in the Philadelphia office.

    I called the office today. They told me it was my constitutional duty to complete the survey. I told them Artcle I of the Constitution requires an enumeration (a headcount). I said “there’s 4 people in my house, now I’ve fulfilled my constitutional duty, my bathing habits are none of your business”.

    After about 15 minute debate she said she would contact my local representative… we’ll see if that’s to turn me in for penalty or to leave me alone…

  13. ChristianNo Gravatar says:

    Added on July 10th, 2008 at 2:16 pm

    I hear they are relocating misfits such as yourself to camps in northern Wisconsin. All those frozen lakes, very Gulaggy.

    Christians last blog post..Written on the Heart: Some Thoughts on the Law

  14. Mark16No Gravatar says:

    Added on October 10th, 2009 at 7:15 pm

    In other countries of the Balkans that were not directly affected by the conflicts, some progress has been made in civil society development, but the level of youth participation is still low. ,

  15. Joseph CopseyNo Gravatar says:

    Added on July 23rd, 2010 at 7:43 am

    I see there are a few constitutional scholars here. So you must remember congressional testimony of James Madison (you know, the guy who wrote the Constitution) for the First Census Act of 1790. He basically said that the new country needed more information from it’s residents for a better government. He proposed many questions about occupation, income, manufacturing, living situations, etc. Congress agreed, but felt it would be too ambitious for the first census. But that first census did ask for name, age, race, sex and hometown — it was never just number in the household. So now instead of asking those questions once every 10 years, it’s spread over the decade. And answering the questions remains one of our most basic civic duties.

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