Hope you’re feeling well today. And strong. And blessed. And joyful. I have been praying for you each time you come to my mind…

Don’t say “needles” around Tam.

Thanks for sharing with all of us, Kathy.

Has it changed my personality? YES. For the good and the bad. I have come to know that I am much more resilient than I would have thought 12 years ago. The blessing has truly been in no longer taking things for granted. When you can’t walk, walking across a parking lot is an amazing gift! (funny, no one likes to go shopping with me now!) It has truly molded my faith as well. I’m in kind of a holding pattern now, well, actually it’s been like that for several years. Long story somewhat short…Several years ago, I started feeling “normal”. When I went to my neuro for my regular check up, he told me that he couldn’t find any sign of the disease. He also said that he, being a medical doctor, could only attribute it to prayer. We had an amazing prayer circle, and still do. Then about 2 years later (don’t do well with remembering times), after a falling out with our church, the disease came back. What do you do with that? I was pissed off because here I was the walking miracle and He blew it. Not just for me but for those around me that were touched. Although I never felt that it was about me. I also said that my healing had already taken place, on the inside, where it was vital. Based on my background, I felt and sometimes still do that God was punishing me for something. People would come to me and ask why? And I no longer had the answers. So much for the short part of this story! Anyway, I am in a position now that I need to decide where I am going from here. Do I trust Him in spite of my circumstances or continue to give Him the cold shoulder? I, at one point, questioned His existence and if He did exist, did I want to acknowledge Him? Either way I know that I can no longer go back to those days where my faith used to be because even though it was strong it would still be going backwards. Sara Groves has this amazing song entitled “Painting Pictures of Egypt”. Here’s some of the lyrics that can explain it better…

I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt,
Leaving out what it lacks
The future feels so hard,
And I wanna go back!
But the places that used to fit me,
Cannot hold the things I’ve learned
Those roads were closed off to me
While my back was turned!

The past is so tangible
I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy
To discard
I was dying for some freedom
But now I hesitate to go
I am caught between the Promise
And the things I know

So, there you have it…

Phew, I need to go lay down! Sorry you asked???

And thanks for all your $$$!”

You can say that again… $1800 per month for Rebif… Thank God for insurance.

I’ve always lurked here and gleaned much from y’all…so thanks for letting me in!

Glad you decided to come out of the ’shadows’… hope I can keep it interesting enough so eveyone stays around.

Kathy was still wiped out today, not sure if she’ll be up to bloggin or not. She’ll be back though.

My approach is healthy eating and anything that reduces stress. Fortunately I’m not a high strung person nor are the kids and Brent. We’re just content and happy to be here. Yes, I have a soon to be 14 yr old girl and an 11 yr old son. They are stinkin awesome! We haven’t made a big deal about the disease – it’s not what defines me or us…so that’s good.

What about you? How do you manage it? How has it changed you, personally, the most? And what about your children…what are their outlooks on it?

It is really good to have “met” you and Buddy. I’ve always lurked here and gleaned much from y’all…so thanks for letting me in!

I think that I read somewhere along the lines, that you have children? How are they dealing with mom not feeling well?

I do understand the laughing at things. Sometimes it is either that or crying. I have also found that it tends to put people more at ease and can open up conversations.

Sorry for the 20 questions. It is nice being able to talk with someone who really does understand what it is like having a chronic disease!

I think we have officially hi-jacked your husbands post

No problem, the original topic was starting to fizzle anyway. I started a new post so we wouldn’t bother you over here.

Anyway, it’s been a blessing that we no longer take anything for granted and I think that will be the best legacy to leave my kids. As far as managing it, I can’t complain. I mean I do, but…

She doesn’t complain… about the MS anyway…

It’s easy for me to say, but it has been a blessing in many ways. For me (us?) [in addition to what Kathy already mentioned] it has made my relationship with God more … well… real. Not as much phoney smiley mountain top stuff and more ‘rubber meets the road’ stuff. I’ve been pissed at Him and clung to Him… sometimes simultaneously….

I think we have officially hi-jacked your husbands post

I’m off…

What’s a guy got to do to get some blogroll links..?

I have been waiting for you guys to ‘find’ each other for some time now. It’s almost uncanny, Tam reminded me of Kathy from the first time I ‘met’ her (similar twisted sense of humor) – and at the time I didn’t even know about the Lupus. And Brent as an overly sensitive praise/worship leader/ musician/church wonk like Buddy (only much nicer)? You guys are near the same age and you both have rug rats and (I think) you both live in older homes that are bathroom challenged (well, OK, that was in the past for the Olivers) You know how I feel about coincidences. I’m gettin’ all verklempt.

Kathy, if Buddy says you drive fast (and by golly you do!) because you can’t feel your feet, what’s his excuse? Can’t feel his brain, or what?

Anyway, discuss, discuss….don’t worry about us. Pretend we’re not here.

How about you? I know relatively little about Lupus other than pain is a big issue. How are you managing? I guess I can ask now that we are on our 3rd date!

How about you?